I Can't Tell You I Love You
by megami no yaoi
Summary: Fluffy songfic featuring the thoughts of Hikaru and Akira as they meet for a late night game of Go. What truly lies in these boys' hearts? May or may not continue into more chapters.


       "Shindou, don't you see what you did wrong?!" Akira had asked.

       "I just read _one_ move wrong! I only lost by five and a half!" Hikaru replied.

       "One move that cost you the _game_, Shindou!" Akira shouted.

       "I know that! It was a _mistake_! Besides, look what you did wrong here!" Hikaru frowned and pointed to a row of misplaced stones.

       "I did nothing wrong at this point in the game," Akira said calmly, looking over the goban.

       "Right _here_!"

       "I don't have time to watch you point out mistakes that don't exist. I have to teach tutorial Go." Akira had risen, planning on leaving Hikaru to sort the stones.

       "Rrrr--! Look!" Hikaru stood and glared at Akira's back. 

       Akira sighed and turned back. His voice fell quietly and lowly over the stones and towards Hikaru, "Okay then, listen. I'll be done around nine tonight so if you want to meet me back here then, we can go over it more."

       "But the salon closes at eig--"

       "Shh! I have an extra set of keys that Ichikawa-san gave me in case I ever wanted to play alone. If you want, meet me at the streetlight on the corner outside of here around nine." 

       "O-okay! I'll be there!" After a pause, Hikaru added in a low whisper, "To prove you wrong!" 

       Akira didn't respond, only picking up his bag and leaving. With a sigh, Hikaru separated the stones off the goban and left the Go salon to think over that game until their next meeting that night.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

       Hikaru was leaning on the light post outside the Go salon at nine in the evening. He was also leaning on the light post at five after nine. And still he was there a quarter after nine. He found himself fidgeting, calming himself with mental Go, not remembering to get angry that Akira was late. He looked at his tennis shoes thinking about how worn they were when he heard the tap-tap of Akira's own proper black shoes falling against the sidewalk breaking the silent street where Hikaru waited. 

_I have a smile _

_stretched__ from ear to ear_

_to__ see you walking down the road_

       Hikaru was smiling happily at the sight of the younger boy as he finally arrived. Akira brushed off his formal clothes as he spoke through laboured breaths, "S-sorry I'm late. One man insisted that I show him the whole ending again--" 

_we__ meet at the lights_

_I stare for a while_

_the__ world around disappears_

       Akira looked up to see Hikaru listening intently to what he was saying. The dim street light reflected bitterly off the blonde part of Hikaru's hair, shadows falling over his face; bringing out his eyes like shiny stones. That moment lingered on as Hikaru waited on Akira to catch his breath. Akira finally spoke but he still felt breathless as he tore his eyes from Hikaru. "Well, let's go inside," he said, pulling a set of keys from his pocket and turning to the dark salon door. Hikaru followed, watching Akira's hands shake as he held the key to the door. 

_just__ you and me_

_on__ my island of hope_

_a__ breath between us could be miles_

       The door swung open and the two players moved through the dark. 

       "Where's the light?" Hikaru squinted his eyes to try to see.

       "I-I don't know," Akira sounded, slightly confused.

       "I thought I remember seeing it over...--oof!" Hikaru found something else but it wasn't shaped like a light switch. It was shaped like his Go rival. 

_let__ me surround you_

_a__ sea to your shore_

_let__ me be the calm you seek_

       "Oof! S-Shindou, watch out!" Akira stuttered, glad that Hikaru couldn't see him blushing in the dark. But neither of them moved as they both began to feel the wall next to him. Hikaru's hand hit something and it clicked, illuminating the room including gobans and all-- including Akira's blushing face. 

       Hikaru's eyebrow raised and he began to ask, "Touya--"

       Akira, ignoring his own blush and Hikaru's speaking, turned towards the gobans and walked to his seat and sat where he had earlier that day.

_oh__ and every time I'm close to you_

_there's__ too much I can't say_

_and__ you just walk away_

       For some reason, neither boy felt like yelling at the other. A short span of time went by where Hikaru forgot that Akira was his rival, his enemy, as Akira found himself calmly explaining things to the half blonde haired boy. Sometimes it felt like Hikaru was close to catching up with him but yet here he was explaining mistakes that the other had made in a game. It was almost like... he didn't want Hikaru to fall too far behind. Like he wanted him close. Past the rivalry, past the Go, Akira didn't know what he felt deep within...

_and__ I forgot to tell you I love you_

_and__ the night's too long and cold here without you _

_I grieve in my condition_

_for__ I cannot find the words to say I need you so_

       But it wasn't long before Hikaru had a rebuttal to one of Akira's explanations and threw it back loudly. Akira raised his voice in return and Hikaru grew quiet, looking over the goban thoughtfully for once. 

       "Shindou--" Akira wondered just what Hikaru was thinking.

       "Maybe you're right. If I had gone here, I would have been able to cut you off before you invaded my territory."

       "R-right..."

_oh__ and every time I'm close to you_

_there's__ too much I can't say_

_and__ you just walk away _

       Hikaru gave off a trademark bright smile as he held an index finger on a stone. "But if you had gone here--" he said, sliding the glass dot up, "--you would have taken twice as much territory in the end."

       Akira considered this quietly, playing the moves in his head. 

       Hikaru's eyes settled on Akira's dark coloured head, taking his own time to think. In Hikaru's own moments, he found himself thinking of Akira as a good friend: someone with his common interest, someone who he had the ability to spend long periods of time with (but not always without confliction). For rivals who would normally stay apart to plan and scheme against each other, they spent a lot of time together. Working together, each insulting the other until they understood their mistakes making them better. Hikaru was still behind but he felt closer every new day, close enough to touch, yet still out of his grasp. And this feeling felt so strange, almost as if it was a feeling that extended beyond the game of Go...

_and__ I forgot to tell you I love you_

_and__ the night's too long and cold here without you_

_I grieve in my condition_

_for__ I cannot find the words to say I need you so_

owari~


End file.
